What a night out is like for me, aged 23

"Have fun, and make sure you enjoy yourself", was a text from my adorable younger brother that I received last week. It took reading it to realise that I couldn't actually remember the last time I did either of those things - have fun or enjoy myself. It made me feel pretty crap, to be honest.

It's beginning to look a lot like broke-mas

                        

The one thing that actually makes me feel quite sad this year is that I'm not buying anyone Christmas presents.

Redefining my blog

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Moving out and moving on.

Hi guys - it's been a while!

The end of university was hectic, and as a result, my blogging flailed and took a back seat.

Now that I've left university *sob*, I'll try and make time for regular blogging, although I can't promise that all entries will be enthralling and life-changing.

It finally hit me this morning, upon waking up and hearing nothing but the birds singing outside (as opposed to honking, ambulances and the like) that this was it... I had finally left York, and excluding graduation and the odd weekend trip up, I was never going back.

This realisation has made me pretty emotional, but I thought I'd turn this sadness into something more creative. And so, here is a list of things a student cannot do upon returning home and living with the parents:

1. Nights out

Nights out at home will never be the same as a night out at university.  I've decided this is for three main reasons...

Pre-drinks: At university, I would drink a bottle of wine before I'd gone out, or a healthy amount of cheap-o vodka with mixer. At home, you can't sit in the living room, chugging back the vino, without parents exclaiming "Exactly HOW much are you drinking? You'll be on the floor! Just THINK what you are doing to your LIVER." 

Getting tipsy: At university, towards the end of a pre-drinking session, people tend to stand up drunkenly and visit the toilet quite a lot. God forbid at home your parents bump into your drunken friends, which if they aren't accustomed to this, looks a) bad on your friends, and b) stands as a bad reflection on you.

The aftermath: The end of a night at university for me means visiting either McDonalds, or grabbing some cheesy chips, then going home with friends and drunkenly dissecting the night's events, careless of how much noise we're making. At home, when you come back, parents and siblings tend to be asleep, so you have to keep the noise down. You're not with friends, and leftover cheesy chips on the dining table would not be appreciated.

2. Throw caution to the wind

University means absolute freedom, meaning it's completely up to you how you spend your time.  If you go out to a friend's with the intention of coming back early, but then don't end up returning until the early hours, no one cares.  At home, however, it's "What time will you be home?" and "Will you be wanting dinner?" and "Who is this friend? Have I met them before?", the Spanish Inquisition only standing to become more intense if you don't keep to your word and return home punctually.

3. Sex

Does this one really need explaining? Unless your bedroom is on the other side of the house, you have perfected doing the deed silently, or have deaf parents, this is a no-go. And forget one-night stands... can you imagine the awkwardness between your hook-up and parents the next day if you fail to sneak them out? Cringe.

4. Manners

This one falls under...

Swearing: now I'm no sailor, but I will hold my hands up and say that with my housemates, I was guilty of letting slip the "s" bomb as an adjective, and the "f" bomb if I was angry.  At home, however, this isn't so acceptable, especially with younger siblings present.  Suddenly you're your parents' "little girl/boy", not on equal ground with your housemates, and there's a hierarchy (and guess what? You're at the bottom). I said "bloody" yesterday and my mother tutted "Language!" ... I don't swear all the time, obviously, but when you're thrown into an environment where Swearing Is Not Acceptable, it's quite a shock, and you have to adjust.

Generally having no shame: As a girl, I can't shout to my former all-female house for a tampon (sorry, guys!), and I'm pretty sure my swooning/leering at the Diet Coke hunk every time the advert comes on, and my saying "And THIS is why I want to marry an architect" comment upon watching Grand Designs wouldn't be quite so tolerated.  Ditto laughing about awful hook ups and pointing out euphemisms, etc etc.

5. Food/hygiene habits

Towards the end of university, my diet was pizza, crisps, fizzy laces and alcohol. At university, a dinner consisting of Walkers Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli (a sharers bag, obviously) is more than okay.  In fact, it is applauded - "That is by FAR the best flavour". I think if I tried to pull this at home I would be laughed at and told not to be so stupid. Hygiene-wise, we ran of out loo-roll all the time, and would often have to use cleansing wipes as a substitute. I told my parents this and they almost had a heart attack.

6. Sleeping

Every student will know that at university sleep is the next best thing after food, drink and friends.  It's almost as exciting as the day your student loan comes into your account (I did say almost). Napping was my saving grace in first year, and it's the perfect time waster. When I finished my dissertation, I'd wake up at 9am and realise I COULD GO BACK TO SLEEP. And I did. Today, however, I was berated by my father for waking up at half 11. Sigh.

Student life is pretty brilliant: complete freedom, and at least 3 years with like-minded people who are a similar age and share similar interests.

Even though my upcoming graduation symbolises a shift away from student life, I fully intend to embrace my student days when I can. I may have moved physically away from being a student, but it's going to take more than a geographicaly shift to shake the student out of me.  Sorry, parents!

Party Prepping.

It's almost December which means... PARTY TIME.

Well, party time for people that aren't in their last year at university and see the festive month as having to do 8000 words worth of essays. Ahem.

Ignoring that major minor obstacle, December means College/Work Balls, get-togethers with friends and family you haven't seen in what feels like forever, and the chance to get very very tipsy and embarrass yourself singing Slade, Cliff Richard and Justin Bieber (don't pretend like you haven't heard "Mistletoe" before).

I'm a sucker for Christmas decorations, especially Christmas lights in towns, and the excuse to bundle myself in everything except a duvet when I'm forced to leave the house...

Sentimentality aside, what really makes the festive season is the dresses! 

I'm personally absolutely loving the gothic, midi and baroque dresses that are in fashion at the moment.  They make a refreshing change from the floral prints which have been around for the last, erm, 3 years or so.  And it forces me to try something a little different.

For the last few years I've stuck to pretty, just above the knee, girly dresses.  But for my upcoming Christmas ball I decided - to hell with it! - I was going to don a bit of pleather and studs, with a bit of gold thrown in (I couldn't throw my girly urges aside entirely ,okay?).  It all sounds like a random mish-mash, but take a look:

www.ark.co.uk

As it's from Ark I'm bloody terrified someone will have the same dress as me, so fingers crossed.  I always say it's fine if someone has the same dress, as long as you look better in it, BUT, there's no guarantee.  Girls keep getting prettier every year.

And can I just point out that I practice what I preach! This dress is high-necked and has a low back.  I'm going to borrow my friend's bra extender (technically I don't need to wear a bra, but I don't want to be cold, and it might itch) because I can't be bothered/am now too skint to buy a different bra solution.

But maybe this is TMI - sorry!

I'm going to join the tango club and get a bit of fake tan on, and go for bright red lippy, gold accessories and black wedges. And maybe wear a blazer, because it gets a little chilly at our ball venue.  I like that the dress isn't entirely formal because it'll mean I actually get to wear it more than once. Perfect.

I can't wait to spend quality time with friends in the classy venue of our ball before descending into a rather tipsy state and boogeying on down, wailing along to The Pogues.

So party on, ladies!

High-neck Highnesses

Yes, that just happened.  In my title I have suggested that ladies working their "good things come in small packages" bust are akin to royalty.

I realised I haven't really addressed the "tat" part of my blog title (which is kind of rubbish of me!) so to redeem myself, I am doing just that. Huzzah!

I absolutely ADORE the clothing website Jones and Jones www.jonesandjonesfashion.com 

They are quite pricey but the dresses/skirts are very pretty and I indulged in one for my college Christmas Ball. I got a fair few compliments (which makes the not-so-humble spend justified, obviously)

Anyway, the dress I wore had very high neck.  As in, if my neck and dress were a couple, the combination would have resulted in people yelling "Get a room! Stop being all over each other!"

Basically, it was high.

My more busty companions would not have been able to "work" the dress.  

For one, a size 8 (the size I wore) had literally no room for a bust.  And if I'd have gotten a size up, it probably wouldn't have fit in the right place.  The style of the dress is definitely for a slim, small-busted girl.  My slim but busty friends would have struggled to get the same dress fitting bust-wise and length-wise.

Secondly, it is far less flattering for boobalicious girls to wear high-necked tops.  It looks like their boobs are being suffocated and it makes them look bigger.  And if the torso isn't fitted right, it can have the effect of not distinguishing between bust and stomach, giving them a probably utterly unwelcome weight gain.

Just another thing to celebrate!

Here's an example of one of their b-e-a-utiful dresses, by the way.  If you want to put on a dress and instantly feel fabulous, look no further...

Jones and Jones Disappearing Daisy Dress

(Also, since the bra solutions might be slightly complicated, "small" girls just wouldn't need to wear a bra. Win)