Can we please stop body shaming? Thanks.

Scrolling through Millie Mackintosh's Instagram comments makes me die a little inside.

At the time of writing, here is her latest image

                       

(Courtesy of @camillamackintosh. I do not own this image. Please don't sue me, I'm poor)

This image, like so many of Millie's, sparked some pretty dire comments such as "Too skinny", "Too much salad, eat a pie" and my personal favourite (sarcasm, btw) "How did you manage to put on a few pounds in the hour? You look better for it".

Now, I'm guilty of this judgemental attitude, too. And I hate myself for it. I saw a girl on the tube the other day with a really prominent thigh gap. Not having a thigh gap myself, and having been conditioned by the media to think "thigh gap = underweight", I felt a little bit threatened by it. Yes, you read that right... I felt threatened by a few inches gap between this stranger's thighs (... Don't be vulgar, people). 

But when did it become okay, this judging? I can't describe how much I hate the covers of certain weeklies where they plaster "IS SHE PREGNANT, OR HAS SHE JUST EATEN A BURGER?"-type garbage all the time. And the hypocrisy of it all! At the beginning of January it was all about getting fit and shaming celebs who weren't a size 10, and now it's all about avoiding the gym and wearing baggier clothes to hide your wobbles. Neither are promoting a healthy attitude. Can we just stop?

In the last week Cosmo has been slammed for its #StopThighGap campaign, and a really eye-opening article has been written by one of my favourite online magazines Vagenda.

The original Cosmo article is here: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/stop-thigh-gap?src=spr_TWITTER&spr_id=1440_39551030

And Vagenda's response is here (I strongly recommend reading it): http://vagendamag.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/why-cosmos-wrong-about-thigh-gap.html

While Cosmo has taken it upon itself to try and convince us all that the quest for thigh gap is impossible for most people because it relies on the way you're built (very true), as Vagenda points out, this suggestion doesn't suddenly stop those who have eating issues have said eating issues. It takes more than saying "Starving yourself won't make you Cara Delevigne, so you can stop being mentally ill" which is an unfortunate nuance Cosmo has ignored. Oops.

It's all very sad really, isn't it? A rather pathetic statement, but it is. I feel bad for Millie that people shame her for acting as a pro-Ana role model. When she learnt this she was utterly horrified (understandably). What people forget about celebrities is that they are people, too... Just people who are able to obtain amazing figures through hardcore personal trainers and bespoke eating plans, which the vast majority don't have access to. I'm pretty sure Millie doesn't have the 3pm slump that has her reaching for anything that contains excess sugar and calories. I'm also pretty sure she doesn't have to debate between catching up on "Take Me Out" or working on her abs. She has the time to look great, and she does look great. Deal. With. It.

But anyway. My point (yes, there is one somewhere. This is why I always flailed with my Lit essays: lack of focus) is that some people are naturally slim. Some people have to work really hard to be slim, and some people will never be slim. Some people have junk in their trunks. Some people have thigh gap (I personally like to rock "the mermaid". Very exotic). Whatever. We need to stop looking at everyone and judging them for something we have no business judging them for.

You have no idea about a person just by looking at them. Some people with thigh gaps may be perfectly healthy and they were just born that way. Equally, some people with them may be ill. It's not fair to condemn them, or anybody. If you were worried about a friend, you'd address the issue oh-so sensitively.  You wouldn't go on their instagram and say "Ew, you're skin and bones #eatapie".

From now on I'll make a conscious effort to stop being judgemental and appreciate that everyone is different and unique, etc etc. And you know what? Being different and unique is what makes us all semi-interesting as humans. Great, eh? I just wish the haterz in Millie Mack's instagram would make the same effort, too.

Rant = complete. Over and out.

Change what you can, accept what you can't. Hello, 2014!

First things first: happy new year! I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season. 

Mine involved copious amounts of eating, drinking, Made in Chelsea book madness, a wine-throwing incident (not thrown by me, or received by me, thank goodness) and my parents making inappropriate comments about my not knowing what a knob of butter is, nor how much counts as "a knob". Hilarious. My helping out with Christmas dinner was a not-so-subtle attempt for my parents to extend my culinary skills to make me "wife material", and I do know what a knob is now, so I'm surely on my way.

                        

                         

Saucy measurement names aside, I have had a great week off spending some quality time with family and friends. The highlight for me was finally getting the chance to see Matilda: The Musical, and we were treated to a VIP-esque theatre experience. This involved us being ushered between a reserved table in the theatre bar and our seats, some free wine, sweets, and ice cream during the interval. And, of course, great seats. All of the actors were superb, and the little girl who played Matilda took my breath away. The girl couldn't have been any older than 8, and she stole the show! I also had a lot of love for the music, apparently written by Tim Minchin. Is there anything that man can't do?

                                   

My New Year's Eve consisted of some overpriced garage wine, a particularly excitable game of ring of fire (when will student games become unacceptable? hopefully never) and a bit of Gangnam style dancing, so fun was had all around. And today consisted of a brain-melting amount of Friends and hangover food. I can't complain. Although clubs are fun to celebrate new year, you can't beat a good old-fashioned house party with some not-quite-set jelly vodka shots and that person who's desperate to push Tequila on everyone (you know who you are).

As you can probably guess, my motto for the new year is in the title. I stayed over in a friend's sister's room the other night and she had stencilled on the wall "Let us change what we can, and accept what we can't" and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I love myself a good quotation, and this one stuck. It just makes so much sense! If you're not happy with something and you have the power to change it, do it. But on the other hand, if there's something in your life which gets you down but there isn't a darn thing you can do about it, the best thing to do is to learn to accept it. Of course, it's a very idealist quote, and idealist I'm not (I prefer to see myself as a realist, but often get called a pessimist), but it's something to aspire to. And I'm always aspiring to be better.

                                   

Acting on that motto, where do I go from here? What can I do to make 2014 a happy balance of change and acceptance?

Firstly, body image. I will change the fact I'm not feeling too jazzy about myself by hitting the gym (membership courtesy of my parents. I asked for it, in case you're wondering. It wasn't a suggestion by them). BUT I do accept that there's some things I can't change about myself *cough* MY NOSE *cough* my (lack of) chest... Unless I suddenly become rich. But let's face it, that's not going to happen.

       

Secondly, myself. My personality. I can't change myself. In the last year I've noticed I'm either super uptight, or absolutely crazy, often at the wrong times. Also, I constantly need reassurance of my ability/image/attractiveness. So, whilst I will accept that I have my weaknesses, I will try and change the way I handle things. I'm just not sure how to yet. It will be my 2014 personal project.

And finally, my job prospects. Whilst I'm very lucky to be secure in my internship until July, there is no certainty whatsoever that I will land a job afterwards, whether that be a graduate or entry-level role. This is terrifying, and could potentially leave me in a very sticky situation because I need a salary to pay my rent. In this case, I can only try my best and hope to god that my applications appeal to companies, and although it would suck beyond belief if I didn't get a role, I will (somehow) accept that what is done is done, and I can't change that. Don't be fooled, however; in between being rejected and becoming an enlightened being, I will be sobbing over the phone to my family/friends/anyone who will offer sympathy... I'll just have to hope it all works out in the end.

Enough from me. Tomorrow is back to work and back to reality. This month I'll be involved in a launch, and next month is Fashion Scout again (it seems like only yesterday I was working my first fashion week!) amongst catching up with friends and trying to keep my finances under wraps. Not to mention trying to keep warm in this generally grim weather. Is it summer yet?? Sigh.

Until next time :)

What 2013 has taught me

Hi guys. It's been a while, I know. I've been settling in to life in NW2 and constantly messing things up too quickly, and then taking too long to fix them. It hasn't left much time to sit down and write (which I've actually really missed).

Now, I know that 2013 isn't over yet, but with work wrapping up for the year, and many things coming to an end (it was my line manager's last day before maternity leave today, and loads of lovely temps are finishing up their contracts on Friday) there is a weird sense of finality in the air. Another chapter is ending, and another is beginning.

So with this in mind, I have begun to reflect. Unlike last year, I don't feel too nostalgic. This year's been tricky, with lots of hard lessons to learn, various issues to deal with, and lots of occasions where I've just been looking forward to the future. "Tomorrow's another day" doesn't seem like the nicest mantra to live by (and I've been using this a lot for motivation)... Maybe it's just been a case of unlucky '13 for me, who knows?

Here are the things I've achieved in 2013:

1. Landed a 2:1 in English Literature from the University of York

2. Proven that I am officially the worst at pub golf (with a rather cringey forfeit)

3. Worked at Red Bull Racing

4. Been hired as a PR intern for The Body Shop

5. Moved to London

6. Survived my first Fashion Week

7. Managed to not embarrass myself at the work Christmas party

8. Moved into a flat, paid for with my own money

But all my achievements (excluding number 2) have been down to a lot of hard work. And the bad news is, the hard work doesn't stop.

At university, there was a sense of consistency and stability. Outside of this self-contained bubble, change is an inevitable part of life, and there's no avoiding it. It's a case of adapt or be wiped out, sink or swim, dog eat dog (insert cliché of your choice). There's no time to get comfortable... In fact, there's no time at all! I got home today and realised I was taking really short breaths and had to remind myself that could actually breathe slooooowly. Which makes me sounds a bit bonkers, but as I reminded my colleagues at work today, "All the best people are."

Taking the post back to the actual title ("ABOUT BLOODY TIME!" I hear you say, if you've actually made it this far) here's a non-comprehensive list of what I've learned this year:

1. If you must work hard, play hard too, or you WILL go stir crazy

2. Taking responsibility for your failings is embarrassing, but it's all part of growing as a person

3. Drunk texting is never EVER a good idea. EVER.

4. London is a great place to live, as long as you can tolerate smelly/greasy/rude people every now and then

5. Something that matters now will mean next-to-nothing sooner than you think (and this can be a good thing).

6. Nothing is ever black or white

7. A bad day, week, or even a few weeks, does not mean you have a bad life

8. Sleeping does not qualify as relaxation

9. Everyone is guilty of making a bit of drama to keep things interesting

10. Awkward situations are inevitable

11. Weekends are a gift

12. Pizza fixes everything

Blood, sweat and tears, or "Sofie moves out"

At the beginning of this week, I said "If I can get through this week, I can get through anything." Now, on Sunday night, I can happily breathe a sigh of relief in the knowledge that yes, I DID IT.

This is what went down: 

Wrapping three digits worth of advent calendars

Creating a portfolio for...

A graduate scheme interview

My mid-year appraisal

A weekend in the midlands with my university friends including a very late night out

Packing for...

Moving to North West London. Today.

This time last week I had to remind myself that a week was only 7 days, and I could totally handle it. Maybe.

Panic.

The good news about the mass of advent calendars I sent out is I can now wrap things pretty darn well, ready for the festive season. The bad news: there were a LOT of advent calendars. I was so happy when I finished wrapping that I did a little jig in front of the post room guys. I think this just confirmed their suspicions of me as a mad lady, but I was too happy to care.

Creating my portfolio was stressful, but also a nice little boost. There's nothing like putting together a presentation about what you've achieved and giving yourself time to digest that these things are all yours, and I did actually deserve a pat on the back for my efforts up to this point.

My graduate scheme interview was a bit of a mess, since I'd misunderstood the meaning of "marketing communications" (thinking this would be similar to what I'm doing now) and after babbling about PR and how much I like working in the beauty industry, they interrupted with "So what makes you think you fit with *insert name of company* and advertising in particular? To which I may have replied something like "Um... Why not?" Oops. It also didn't help that my answer to "What was the last film you saw recently?" was "Monsters University" and it WASN'T, it was "Le Weekend", which would have made me sound so much more cultured. Sigh.

My mid-year appraisal was okay and went a lot better than I thought it would! Always a relief.

I was finally able to let off some steam with friends at the weekend and it was so so nice to see them. Especially as I hadn't seen one of them since graduation, which is now over 4 months ago. Someone please tell me where the time's going? Because I honestly don't know. It really was great to catch up with them and have a good old natter about anything and everything.

Unfortunately, I had next to no sleep last night because I was panicking so much about today, even though i'd been very good and completed most of my packing before I left for the weekend. Moving really is one of THE most stressful things. To make matters worse, my hungover/shattered state was pushed to the limit when my stepdad managed to cut open his forehead whilst loading my bits into the car. Disaster! I just heard a call of "Sofie, come here quickly" and was met with a bloodied father. It pushed me over the edge. I just started sobbing and clumsily trying to put ice into a bag rather than into a glass, THEN putting it into a bag.

I don't deal well under pressure, especially when tired, groggy, stressed, and witness to a bloodied mess of a father.

Did he have concussion? Was he able to drive? Did he need to go to A&E? Where was the nearest walk in centre?

Luckily, he was okay (just a bit sore) and we moved my mountain of rubbish into my new flat.

Phew. It's been quite the week.

So, what does this week have in store? Despite being busy, I'm hoping it will be more fun than stressful, thank goodness. I'm catching up with friends for post-work drinks, seeing Catching Fire (I. AM. SO. EXCITED. *squeals*), getting made over for our work Christmas party, and taking the following day off to recover and prepare for a weekend of excitement (I hope it's exciting, anyway!).

I might take a picture of my new room when I've got it looking all pretty. Not that I think anyone will care that much, but because I am very very happy with it. And I have a double bed again! The space is such a novelty...

Anyway, I'm starting to become a tad hysterical due to a lack of sleep/too much excitement, so I think we'll leave it there, shall we?